


baby, it's your last time (so give me your best try)

by mondeblue



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Stupidity, although there's very little mention of college life sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 18:35:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13957542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mondeblue/pseuds/mondeblue
Summary: jae keeps breaking up with people because they aren't brian enough for him. the actual brian is mildly distressed.(this turned out much angstier than i'd intended i am so sorry)





	baby, it's your last time (so give me your best try)

There are two things that happen immediately, in rapid succession, the moment Jae steps into the dorm. 

  1. The exact words: “Holy fucking shit” come out of his mouth, which are an accurate representation of how he’s been feeling the entire evening.
  2. An oven mitt comes flying in from the kitchen and nails him directly in the face.



“Language!” Sungjin scolds, coming to retrieve the weapon. “There are  _ children _ here.”

As if on cue, Dowoon pokes his head out of the slight opening in his bedroom door. “I’m not a child.”

“Tell me that when I’m tucking you in at night,” Sungjin says without looking behind him, as if this is something that happens often. Which, now that Jae thinks about it, is not all that inaccurate. 

“Stop bullying him,” Wonpil says, emerging from - somewhere? Jae doesn’t know. At Wonpil’s words, Dowoon pokes his head out further, looking a little bit like a turtle, eyes alight with hope. “He’s a  _ baby _ ,” Wonpil adds.

Jae barely catches Dowoon’s pout before he slams the door shut.

“Where’s Brian?” Jae asks, taking off his coat and throwing it onto the couch. The silver-haired Canadian is usually the first person to greet him when he comes home, lending a roll of the eye and a soft ‘you’re so dumb, hyung’ to his whining. 

“Busking near Hongdae,” Wonpil answers, pushing Jae’s coat off the couch and onto the floor for no apparent reason. “What happened?”

Right. The  _ thing _ . The ‘holy fucking shit’ thing. The shittiest of holy fucks. The… holiest of fucking shits? Jae did not think this through.

“Mark,” he starts, preparing himself for the long rant that has been building up in him, but he’s interrupted by a collective groan that echoes across the dorm. “What?”   
“Jae,” Sungjin says placatingly, “if there are so many problems with the relationship, just break up.”

“But he’s so  _ pretty _ ,” Jae says, distress levels nearing the breaking point. “And he’s from Cali too, so we have a lot in common, so you’d think-”

“-so you’d think we’d have a lot to talk about, right? But no, because he’s quieter than the crowd at a Nickelback concert,” Wonpil, Sungjin and Dowoon - who has again emerged from his bedroom - intone in terrifying unison, all taking on varyingly accurate impressions of Jae’s trademark whine. 

Jae holds up a finger. “One,” he says, “that was the scariest shit I’ve ever seen, please never do that again. Two,” he holds up a second finger, “I don’t complain about Mark  _ that _ often.”

Sungjin sighs. “Jae,” he says with the patience of the father he is, “you’ve complained about him nearly every day. One time you literally came up to me in the middle of the night and started talking about how he was too quiet. Completely naked, might I remind you.”

Jae frowns. Sungjin’s words don’t ring a bell, but he can’t say he’d put it past himself. “What happened after that?”

“Brian was already there to drag you back. Can you even survive without him?”

“Yes,” Jae insists. Sungjin raises an eyebrow. “... no.” Something in his brain lights up, and he snaps his fingers, grabbing his coat from where Wonpil has once again pushed it onto the floor. “That reminds me! I’m going to go ask Brian what to do.”

Sungjin starts, “you could literally listen to  _ any one of us _ -” but by the time he reaches the end of the sentence, Jae’s already gone.

\--

Brian, when Jae finds him, has set up in front of a little market square, next to a towering marble fountain. It’s a familiar setup, because it’s the one Jae uses too - a guitar, a mic, a speaker. A crowd has begun to form around him, making a little circle, and the case sitting open at his feet is already stuffed to the brim with cash. As he’s performing, children run up with their parents’ money and add it to the pile, earning themselves a smile their way, maybe a wink if they’re lucky. 

Jae wonders if they do it for the music, or the way Brian’s eyes light up. 

Brian’s finishing up a song when Jae finds him, but he doesn’t approach him immediately; instead, he hangs at the back of the crowd and uses his height to look over the heads of the rest of the spectators. He’s always found it fascinating, how Brian performs; how this sweet, somewhat bashful person could transform into the most confident human alive just by putting a mic in front of his mouth and a guitar in his hands. His hair, newly short, lies flat against his forehead, but his long earrings swing a little, matching his every head motion. He’s wearing a blazer over a crisp button-down, and it’s hard to tell with the sweat shining along his neck and forehead but Jae knows he must be cold.

The final chord of the song drifts off into the wind, followed shortly by uproarious applause from Brian’s audience as even more people rush in to drop cash into his guitar case. Jae claps the loudest of them all, hollering and wolf-whistling until he’s turning heads.

When Brian finally sees him, after a bit of searching, his eyes brighten. Jae’s pulse quickens in time, and Brian only needs to gesture to him once before he’s pushing his way through the crowd.

“Where’s your money?” The smile Brian gives him is different from the others; warmer, maybe, like springtime and tea. As if by magic, the distress caused by his bad date with Mark is suddenly smoothed away.

Jae laughs, pulls out a single coin - five cents or something, he doesn’t check - and drops it directly into Brian’s outstretched palm. “Am I your sugar daddy yet?” he teases.

Brian rolls his eyes. “This is my friend, Jae,” he says into the mic, and Jae abruptly remembers that they aren’t alone. “Some of you might recognize him, he busks here too. A better singer than me,” he laughs, and Jae’s words of disagreement are drowned out by the crowd’s. “Wanna sing one?” Brian asks, covering the mic with a hand so the crowd won’t hear.

“I’m good,” Jae says. “I just wanted to talk to you. Meet me back home when you’re done?”

“Nah, I’m almost finished,” Brian says. “If you don’t mind waiting I’ll be out in two songs.”

Jae smiles at him. He’s never minded waiting.

\--

Jae hasn’t even gotten into it yet before Brian is taking his phone, unlocking it easily. Jae’s kind of regretting letting him add his fingerprint into the system.

“What are you doing?” he says, grabbing for his phone, but Brian only plants a hand on his chest and pushes him away, dialling what Jae realizes with growing horror is Mark’s number. 

“Hey, Mark?” Brian says. When Jae continues to struggle, he shoves him down and promptly sits on his stomach, earning them stares from passersby. Jae pushes at him a little more, but knows it’s no use; he’s a self-proclaimed beanpole, and Brian has actual meat on his bones. “No, this is Brian, Jae’s roommate. Listen, he’s been meaning to tell you something for a while, is it okay if you talk now?”

Brian listens, nods once, listens some more, then puts the phone down to Jae’s ear. “Now’s your chance,” he hisses. Jae wonders why he ever thought coming to Brian was a good idea.

“I swear to god, I’m going to- heyyyyy, Mark,” Jae fumbles, turns red when Brian starts laughing. “Uh, what’s up?”

“Brian said you wanted to talk about something?” Oh god, this is really happening, Jae realizes. He’s about to break up with someone for the first time in ages. And he hadn’t even really done anything wrong.

“Um…” Jae feels what little motivation he’d had slowly drain away from him. He starts shaking his head frantically at Brian, who stares back unaffected. Jae realizes he’s not getting up until he’s single again. “I don’t really know how to put this lightly, but…”

“Oh thank god,” it’s the most emotion Jae has ever heard in Mark’s voice - an alarming realization, considering they’ve been dating for two months. “You’re breaking up with me, right?”

“Yes?” Jae is a little shocked. Brian, from his perch on Jae’s stomach, smiles like he’d known all along. “How did you-”

“Listen, I didn’t know how to say this, but…” Mark starts, but Jae realizes with a sort of giddy swooping feeling that he knows exactly how the sentence is going to end. 

“We don’t get along at  _ all _ ,” they say in unison, and burst into laughter at the same time.

“Oh my god,” Mark says, sounding the happiest he’s been since they started dating. “I thought it was just me-”

“-me too, I thought, since we’re both from Cali we’d have a lot to talk about right? But no-”

“-we literally have  _ nothing to say, _ ” Mark finishes, breathy like it’s all coming out in a big rush. “Absolutely  _ nothing _ . I felt kind of bad, too, because you were clearly trying so hard-”

“-and you weren’t trying  _ at all _ ,” Jae says. “I thought you hated me or something, because Christ, you’re so quiet-”

“-that’s on me, Jackson says I have the social skills of a walnut. And there’s so much pressure to have good conversations when you’re dating, I think that made it worse.”

“Hey, at least the sex was good,” Jae says. Brian’s eyes go wide before he starts making a retching noise. Jae sticks his tongue out at him. “But I think we’re better off as friends.”

“Agreed,” Mark says. “See you around?”

“For sure.” They hang up, and it’s like a weight has disappeared from Jae’s shoulders. Or maybe it might just be Brian, finally standing up.

“That wasn’t too hard, was it?” Jae takes the hand he offers and lets Brian pull him to his feet, dusting off the back of his jeans. “Much better than staying, right?”

“Right,” Jae agrees. “Thanks, man. No more stealing my phone, though.”

“No promises,” Brian says, and Jae whines about it all the way home.

\--

When they come home, Dowoon takes one look at Jae’s face and sighs. “You’re a hero, hyung.”

Brian laughs, takes Jae’s hand when he tries to protest because why is there always something going on that he doesn’t know about? The touch is familiar, comforting, and their fingers fit together by habit; it calms Jae down, although he’d never admit it. “I’m only doing my job, Dowoonie.”

“We should really pay you,” Wonpil says, looking up from the textbooks he’s got spread out on the tea table. “I’ll buy you dinner sometime.”

“Hey,” Jae starts, “what-” but Brian just squeezes his hand, grins at him, and Jae can’t help but grin back. It’s honestly unfair, the things Brian can do to him - who is he if he can’t bitch about Wonpil?

“Riiiiight,” Dowoon says, looking between them with a curious mix of disgust and interest. “Sungjin hyung wants to know if you guys are eating dinner at home.”

Jae turns to Brian. “What do you think?”

Brian hums in thought; as he does, his fingers slip out from between Jae’s, leaving something cold and hollow in their wake. Jae finds his smile slipping off his face, and works to keep it there. “Might just go to the library, study a little. Buy something from the cafe nearby.” He turns to Jae. “Come with me?”

“Of course,” he says, but when he turns to tell Dowoon this, he finds the younger is already gone.

\--

Jae doesn’t have as healthy of a work ethic as Brian does, so half an hour through their study session he tells Brian he’ll wait for him at the cafe. “You know my order, right?” Brian asks, as he’s grabbing his coat.

Jae gives him a look. “What kind of question is that? Venti espresso with vanilla creamer for Jae, tall caramel macchiato for Brian,” he recites, the words taking on a rhythm out of constant repetition.

Brian mouths the orders with him, then smiles and says, “I still think the vanilla creamer is code for some sex thing.”

“You say that every time,” Jae tells him. “And every time, I tell you it’s not.”

“Yeah, but every time you say it’s something different. Yesterday you said it was the name of your fursona, and then you went into very descriptive detail about it-”

“Hey, Vanilla Cream is deeply offended,” Jae says. Brian rolls his eyes at him.

\--

“I am so  _ fucked _ ,” Jae says the moment Brian sits down, approximately twenty minutes later. 

Brian raises an eyebrow at him, takes his drink and the sandwich Jae ordered for him. “Not again,” he says, but there’s a strange weight to the joking words.

Jae leans conspiratorially closer and points a discreet finger towards the counter, where a man with purple hair is currently wreaking havoc. As they watch, he drops a coin onto the floor; then, while picking up that coin, drops the rest of the change in his hand. “He’s not even my type,” Jae says, pained. “But I gave him my number.”

Brian looks at him. “You what?”

Jae looks back. Brian’s eyes are intense, boring holes into him and making it difficult to breathe. “Why are you so surprised? I have game, you know.”

Brian blinks a few times, then does something like a factory reset to his brain and smiles. “Really? I never knew, Mr. ‘my best friend had to break up with someone for me’.”

Jae turns the finger pointed at the barista to a spot above Brian’s collarbone, where it pokes out from the white edges of his shirt. “All you did was call him and you know it.”

Brian waves him off, but doesn’t say anything else. Jae watches him eat in silence for a few seconds, wondering if he’s done something wrong, then digs into his own food.

\--

The man’s name is Namjoon, but somewhere through their third text conversation Jae finds out that he also goes by the street name ‘Rap Monster’.

“Wow,” Sungjin says when Jae shows him, reading over his shoulder while simultaneously scrubbing at a dish. “That’s really- wow. And you still want to date him?”

Jae shrugs one shoulder. “He’s really smart,” he says. “Keeps me on my toes. Plus he has a pretty good knowledge of memes.”

Sungjin raises an eyebrow. “How is that any different from Brian?”

Jae pauses, and finds he can’t really think of a legitimate answer. “I don’t know,” he says eventually, and Sungjin hums like it’s what he was expecting.

\--

Jae comes back from his first date with Namjoon and goes straight to Brian. “There’s a problem.”

Brian, curled up on the couch with his hair tucked into a backwards snapback, doesn’t look up from his phone. “Had fun with ‘Rap Monster’?”

Jae pauses in his step. “You know what, I’m starting to regret telling you that.”

“You regret telling me a lot of things,” Brian says. “Doesn’t stop you from talking, though.” When Jae doesn’t say anything, because Brian is unbearably rational and it’s hard to argue with someone like that, he pats the spot next to him and shifts over a bit. “Come, bitch to me about your new boy toy.”

“He’s not my  _ boy toy _ ,” Jae huffs, plopping down next to Brian and curling into his side. Brian expands a bit to fit him, unfolding his legs from underneath him and putting an arm around Jae’s shoulders. He’s warm and soft and smells distinctly like Brian - coffee and old books and something else, the coconut shampoo he’s been using for ages. “Namjoon would very strongly object to that kind of term.”

Brian wrinkles his nose. “The last time you said ‘strongly object’ was for your philosophy term paper, and you had a crisis over it for about five days.”

“Unimportant,” Jae waves him off, slumping into his side. “The problem is, he’s  _ too _ smart. He can never be  _ not  _ smart. Like, your GPA’s hella impressive but you’ve done some real dumb shit before, right?”

“Yeah,” Brian hums thoughtfully. “I did become friends with you.”

“Oh my god, never mind,” Jae huffs, trying to push away, but Brian is considerably stronger than he is and he doesn’t actually want to leave. “I’m asking Sungjin instead.”

“Jae.” Brian’s voice is soft, cuts through the air and freezes him in place. “If he doesn’t make you happy, just break up with him.”

“I wish it was that simple.” Jae, for all the romantic adventures he embarks on, is really bad with emotions. This kind of serious tone, all quiet and intimate, makes his skin crawl; but Brian is comforting in his warmth and familiarity, so Jae stays. “I don’t have to always be happy with someone, Brian.”

Brian looks away, gets up off the couch and leaves a startling cold in his wake. “You should be.”

\--

The second time, although not as amicable, is significantly easier than the first. Jae finds that he just needs to initiate the conversation before the words start flowing naturally.

“I understand,” Namjoon says, after. “Thank you for your time. It was well-spent, I hope. Although perhaps my asking you is a contradiction in itself, as thanking someone usually insinuates that one has wasted their time-”

“Jesus, Namjoon,” Jae interrupts. “Yes, of course I enjoyed it.”

Namjoon blinks at him. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?”

\--

Jeon Wonwoo is hot. Like, really hot.

“Holy shit, he’s hot,” Jae tells Joshua, looking at where Wonwoo is sitting on the opposite corner of the long-ass booth they’ve booked out for the night. It takes up the entire wall and is packed to the brim, fourteen voices clamoring to be heard over each other. Jae winces, and reminds himself to tip generously later.

“He is,” Joshua agrees, pulling apart a chicken wing and putting the pieces in his mouth one by one. It’s a little disconcerting. “Sorta quiet - maybe you’d be good for him. You guys can balance each other out. I don’t know if you’d understand his puns, though.”

Jae rolls his eyes, tears into a wing with passion. Joshua stares at him like  _ he’s _ the weird one. “I dated a guy who told me he liked me by explaining the chemical processes behind romantic attraction. I’m sure I can deal.”

\--

Jae cannot deal.

Wonwoo accepts when he asks him out, blushing furiously and explaining, in a voice just under his breath, “you’re cute, and Joshua says you’re nice, so.” It doesn’t leave much room for conversation, but Jae was anticipating that, and manages to wrestle a couple minutes of back-and-forth about school out of him. 

It’s quite similar to Mark, but Mark was quiet because they genuinely did not get along as a couple; with Wonwoo, Jae suspects it’s just how he is. It’s actually, objectively, better than with Mark; more of a familiarity thing than a lack of compatibility. And Wonwoo hasn’t even cracked a bad pun yet, so Jae figures it’s fine.

But then he meets Mingyu, and that all goes out the window.

Jae only has to look at him once to figure out the truth. He pulls him aside and says, “You’re in love with Wonwoo, aren’t you?”

It’s almost comical, the expression of alarm that consumes Mingyu’s face. To his credit, he doesn’t try to deny it; just says, “that obvious, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jae says pityingly, patting him on the shoulder. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you.”

\--

Wonwoo freezes when Jae mentions Mingyu’s name. “What about him?”

“You guys seem close,” Jae comments, trying for off-handed. They’re sitting across from each other in this cafe Wonwoo really likes, a weird hipster place that’s attached to a bookstore. Jae’s a lot less comfortable here than he is in the one he and Brian frequent, but that’s a sacred place and Wonwoo seems happy enough. “You’ve been friends for a long time, right?”

“Sort of,” Wonwoo admits, which Jae takes as a yes. They’ve only been dating for a month, but Wonwoo is surprisingly easy to read when you get past the resting bitch face. He’s just awkward and nerdy and makes a lot of bad jokes. “I knew him in high school.”

That’s a really long time, Jae thinks. Longer than he’s known Brian. He wonders how long Mingyu’s been in love with Wonwoo, how much it must hurt. He doesn’t really know what to do. 

He says, “did you know he loves you?”

Wonwoo’s eyes sharpen into something hesitant and scared, like a cornered animal. “We’re very close,” he says slowly. “If you mean-”

“No.” Jae hates being this serious; it reminds of how Brian had looked at him, telling him he deserves constant happiness. He’s not sure he believes him. “He’s in love with you. I could tell from the moment I looked at him.”

Wonwoo swallows, but doesn’t look all that shocked. Jae suspects he’s been avoiding this question for a long time. “I know,” he admits, quietly. Suddenly, Jae understands. 

The chair scrapes loudly when he stands, but Wonwoo looks down at the table instead of up at him. “Then you know something else, too,” he says.

It’s so obvious, and he feels like such an idiot. He leaves, and doesn’t look back.

\--

Jae opens the door to a lightless apartment. He hangs up his jacket in silence and heads to the bathroom, dragging his feet in exhaustion. 

“Another one?”

Jae looks up. Brian’s leaning against the door to his room, watching him with an unreadable expression. It stops Jae from moving closer as he says, “yeah. Turns out he had a thing for someone else, he just didn’t realize it.”

Jae has learned to predict Brian’s actions. It’s a familiar pattern of gentle, soothing comfort and playfully harsh teasing, balancing out in a sort of warmth that Jae is automatically drawn to. But he doesn’t expect him to say, “why are you pretending it doesn’t hurt?”

It shatters a part of him he wasn’t aware he’d built. “Of course it hurts,” he snaps. “I liked him a lot. I mean, fuck, more than the others. But I guess I just don’t deserve a good relationship.”

“You know that’s not true.” Brian comes closer, takes his hand. The gesture grounds him, helps him focus on Brian’s eyes. They’re nice eyes - feline, almost, but gentle, sparkling. “You deserve the best relationship. I-” he stops, closes his eyes, does that same factory reset thing that he’d done before. “Trust me.”

“Okay.” Jae leans his forehead on Brian’s shoulder. “Okay.”

\--

“Hey,” Jae says casually the next day, “want to go out with me?”

Wonpil doesn’t look up from his phone. “No.”

Jae shrugs. “Figures.”

\--

“Want-”

“Don’t even try,” Dowoon says. “Brian hyung would actually kill me if I dated you.”

Jae looks at him like he’s insane. “Why would he kill you?”

Dowoon rolls his eyes and closes the door, muttering something about ‘delusional old men’.

\--

“I’m not going to date you,” Sungjin says.

Jae blinks at him. “How did you-”

“The kids told me.” It’s both admirable and scary, how well Sungjin has grown into his role as the dad friend. “To be honest, Jae, there’s only one person in this dorm who you could viably date.”

Jae nods, slowly. “And that person is…”

Sungjin sighs, drying off his hands. “The one person you, ironically, haven’t asked yet.”

\--

When Brian comes home that day, Jae is the one waiting for him.

He was planning to start it off gentle, with a ‘we need to talk’ or some equally contrived variant. But the second he sees that familiar head of silver hair, everything he had planned sort of crumbles.

He says, “You like me?”

Brian freezes, then slowly backtracks out of the door. “I have… errands,” he says.

“No, wait.” Jae stands up, grabbing the edge of the door before Brian can close it. Brian looks up and into his eyes, startled, pleading. “Sungjin told me. You like me?”

“Sungjin? That-” he closes his eyes, mutters something underneath his breath before opening them again. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” he says, voice even. Jae doesn’t understand why he thinks he can fool him.

“Liar,” he says. He means for it to be teasing, but it comes out brittle instead. Brian tenses, retreats further into himself. Cold coils at the pit of Jae’s stomach. “Brian,” he says, gentler, “please.”

Brian slips past him and into the apartment. Jae can’t find the strength to follow him, just closes the door and stays there. The world is silent, for a while.

Brian says, “I can make you happy. Always.”

Jae looks up but doesn’t turn around, afraid of what he’ll find. “I know,” he says.

“So why won’t you let me?” Brian’s words are fast but clear, edges crisp with anger. “Why do you always stay in these shitty relationships when I’m right here?”

Jae closes his eyes. “Venti espresso with vanilla creamer for Jae, tall caramel macchiato for Brian,” he recites by heart. There’s a rhythm to it - much like there’s a rhythm to them. A rhythm that is careful and consistent, but walking on the edge between the familiar and the unknown. “Coffee and old books and the coconut shampoo you’ve been using for ages. Busking near Hongdae, near that marble fountain.”

“I’ve liked you for years,” Brian tells him.

It’s almost too much. Jae sits down, hard, still facing the door, leaning forward until his forehead hits cold wood. “Mark wasn’t enough,” he says. “Namjoon wasn’t enough. Wonwoo wasn’t enough.”

“Wasn’t enough what?” Brian’s voice is closer, now; Jae knows why when there’s a warmth at his back, like Brian is leaning against him. It’s funny, because now that he thinks about it, it was always the other way around.

Jae thinks about a life with anyone other than Brian, and the thought is so cold and bleak that the answer comes to him faster than he’d like. It’s a startling parallel to Wonwoo and Mingyu, except this time, he’s the one being left at the table. “Wasn’t enough you,” he says. “They couldn’t be you.”

The warmth at his back disappears. Jae climbs to his feet, steps away from the door; Brian is somewhere behind him, out of sight as he takes his hand. Jae shatters.

“Jae,” Brian says, quietly.

All at once, Jae comes to his senses. He turns to the side, and Brian is there; Brian has always been there, he realizes. There, beautiful and luminescent and his, if he wants.

If he wants.

He does.

He lets go of Brian’s hand, and sees Brian’s eyes darken with pain before he’s taking his face in his hands and kissing the darkness away. Brian melts into him like he always has, fitting together with a perfection that has been honed for years. 

It’s kind of funny - he’s been searching for happiness in the farthest places, and yet it was here all along.

He pulls away and says, “the vanilla creamer  _ is _ a sex thing, by the way.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

_ end. _


End file.
